"Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for a thunderstorm, to water a land where no man lives, a desert with no one in it, to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass?"
Job 38: 25-27

over a week ago there was a tornado in the little "city" i now live in. i wasn't actually in town or whatever, but it destroyed some of the buildings  5 mins down the road. no more late thursday night runs to ihop to celebrate getting thru night class for a while. oh well.
anyhow.
i didn't feel that affected by it all, but a friend of mine goes to a school that got pretty torn up and he happened to be really close by as it hit. obviously he was a little shaken by the whole thing and so i had been talking to him about it, trying to figure out what it was about this natural disaster that had him so unnerved.
around that same time there was this dad who spoke at our chapel service about drugs and the impact they had on his youngest son, leading his boy to take his own life about six months ago. i think the kid was only 21 years old. i struggled to listen.
why did God let this guy's son commit suicide AND a tornado take a piece of my friend's school?
i realize these aren't the worst things that have ever happened on earth, but i wanted to get a little irritated with God anyway.
On my way to the library (i wanted to get in a little Job reading time before class) i saw friend that i hadn't talked to in a while, and he asked me what i thought of the tornado. he understood that it might have had a bigger affect on me, being that thailand didn't have many of those. i wasn't really sure what i thought of it, so i asked him what he thought instead. ><
he thanked God for the weather. .... and boy, and i ever glad that he chose to see things that way! we talked about how these natural disasters and so many other things in our lives remind us that we truly have no control over our own lives. good thing too. cause it reminds us of who does. :)
so even though i probably would never have planned for the guy's son to die, or for a tornado to coming whipping through and destroy my friend's confidence along with the buildings it touched, i'm glad for the way God plans life.
so here's to us learning to trust the Lord! CHEERS!

i am an empty asian bowl
God fills me up with sweet, sticky white rice
sometimes i let people stick their dark chopsticks in for a few clingy grains
sometimes i put on my covering

i want to be an american tree.

i want to be an american tree.
i want the Son's light to come shining thru me.
i want my leaves to change and fall off me.
i want to be an american tree.


i wrote this little poem while reflecting on my favorite season and pretending that i was a tree today. >< i guess i like the idea of God changing me and removing the dead stuff in me to help me grow and to make me more beautiful for His name's sake. so yeah. theres some food for thought next time you see a tree during the fall. and if you live in a country with no seasons.... just be thankful for trees and that God decided to create the world in color. yay God :)

Hephzibah. My delight is in her.

God has been teaching my a whole bunch of cool things lately, and since i haven't blogged recently, i decided to pull one out of the hat to share. :D

the other day i was alone praying and reading my dear little Bible when i came across Isaiah 62. My favorite verse from isaiah 62 used to be the second one: "The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow". i still love that one (hehe) but what really struck me this time was part of verse 4 ..."No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah."

Hephzibah. My delight is in her.

God is talking abt the church here - His Bride. the one He has chosen. the one He delights in. i mean, how AMAZING is that? when you think about how ugly and gross and madly distorted our ways on thinking and living are..... and then that He - the HOLY one - has decided to see us as something worth SAVING... man. so much hope stuffed in one little verse. it blows my mind.

you know when you see a couple delighting in simply being together, or like, when you say something and you catch a friend giving you a silly grin, and you realize that they delight in spending time with you no matter how dumb your remarks can get .... its gonna be so much better the day we marry Him. :)

HALLELUJAH!

Rahula.
My Burden.

I've often pondered what would be the worst last name in the world. And I end those thinking sessions by asking God to let me marry a guy with a really great last name. haha :) Oh, then there are those first names... they can get pretty bad too. Once, in my religion class, we were taught that Buddha named his son Rahula, meaning something along the lines of "my burden." thats a pretty sad first name to be given from ur dad. (just as a side note, if ur reading this and ur name is rahula, please don't be offended, cause i honestly think the word rahula sounds awesome. its just the meaning that catches me by suprise ><)
Anyhow. i've been thinking about burdens a LOT the past few weeks. not sure when it started really.  kinda a random topic to reflect upon, but i've learned some pretty cool things :) for example, the other day i was "nomming in the caf" with a friend, (slang for eating in the cafeteria) when i guy i've recently gotten to know walked by, looking a little long in the face. after he had passed, i turned back to the friend and said "well, he looks sad today." to which my friend replied something like "you know, i've realized recently that there is a difference of being sad and being burdened."
it was a simple and slightly unrelated statement, but it stuck with me and got me thinking... is there really a difference? is one better than the other? are the both bad? or good?

and then, later in the week, as i was pondering,  i listened to the song "Hallelujah, What a Savior"
"Man of sorrows... what a name, for the Son of God... He came."
....
Even my Jesus was sorrowful.

It was a strange thought. I guess its uncommon to picture a Savior as the one sorrowful and heavy laden. But He was.
I was reminded of Gethsemane, when God's own son was face down, troubled, sorrowful.
 Burdened.
it made me wonder if my God carries burdens now.... and if i offer to help, but end up sleeping on the other side of the garden while His heart breaks for what lies ahead. and i started to wonder about His groanings, and the way He feels about those that are lost. He values them SO MUCH! and here i am almost completely.... unburdened.

where is my love for the lost?
to where have i banished my sense of soft-hearted sorrow?

a friend was telling me about getting to talk to a friend of hers that she hadn't seen in years. the talk went fairly well, but as she spoke more of the subject, i could tell there was obviously more she had wanted to speak of with her friend. she so desperately wanted to share of how her life was changed by the power of the Lord. and the more she talked the more i was deeply moved by her burden.
i want to feel so burdened.
so i started thanking God for the trials in my life, and even for the friends sharing their burdens with me. only God can lift those, so that will be cool to see.... plus,we shall get closer to Him in the i valley, i do believe. <3
so i challenge you with this, right out of the first chapter of James:
"Consider pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

"And they were amazed at Him." Mark 12:17

Today for chapel this guy spoke on the passage in Mark with the Pharisees and Herodians trying to trip Jesus up with their question about taxes. i really liked what he said. not only did he adress how the Caesar's image on the coin proved his ownership of the coin (and that the coins should be given to him) and how that parallels to us being made in God's image, how He owns us (and how we ought to give ourselves up to Him!), but he also mentioned how the answer Jesus gave was a winner.... out of a lose-lose situation... he talked about how the people must have walked away, shaking their heads, wondering where Jesus got those wise words. :)

i love the next verse:
And they were amazed at Him.

i bet those who walked near Him felt amazed a lot of the time. i mean, seriously, He ALWAYS knew what to say. i love reading those stories! :)))

but i think its more than stories. i think God is continuing to answer our questions in wise, wonderful ways. and i dare us to be AMAZED.

:O

so i think i like the batman movies.
its a little hard to tell.
basically, i hate all the dark parts. haha.
but guess what:
we needn't fear the darkness :D
and theres always hope.
this makes me very happy.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that even though i get so disturbed by darkness, anger, violence, tension, and pain (and not just talking about movies here, in case you didn't catch that), i am learning to realize how much bigger my God is than all of that. and that He truly does have the whole world in His hands. and He truly does save and He really does heal. He is the way, the truth, and the life :DD

i was thinking about the newish MercyMe song "The hurt and the Healer", so i'm just gonna share some of those words with you guys.

"I'm alive, even though a part of me has died, you take my heart and breathe it back to life. I've fallen into your arms open wide when the hurt and the hearler collide.
Jesus come and take my fear, awake my heart and take my tears. Find your glory even here, where the hurt and the healer collide."

Prayin for all the broken-hearted to be healed by Him! :) Take heart! there is hope, my friends!