"It's hard to look right at you baby"

Sometimes I feel that way about God. lets face it. Our God is BEAUTIFUL... oh, so amazingly beautiful.
 and i'll admit that there are times when i really don't want to look deeper into His beauty and realize, once again, how very disturbingly ugly i am. have you ever felt that way? like, you hear someone pray, and their relationship with the Lord is just so intimate and gorgeous, that afterwards you feel like you have to escape to the bathroom and wash ur hands because of the filth you suddenly realize you live with? or when a friend shares their excitment of learning more about God and you almost gag, wondering where your sense of awe has gone and why you have allowed such dirty things clutter up your life...
i feel that way sometimes.
and its probably good for me.
cause its after we see ourselves in our misery .. "Kicking about in (our) blood" as Ezekiel 16:6 says... that we can better see how pure.. and holy.. righteous... and just plain beautiful our Lord is.
and thats when He can clean us and bring us into the light, like Micah 7:9.

But regardless of the fact that I so often want to hide my face from the beauty of my Savior, rather than squinting my eyes and staring straight into His glory, He has chosen to teach me many great things, and to slowly open up my eyes to the wonderful things that He does....

like this week when He adopted another son.
like how He scoped me up, out of my busy schedule, sent me a song and lovely verses from His word that I could and still will rest in
like the songs in my choir class, that proclaim His glory, and make me cry
like how He asked my teacher to vulnerably share of how God brought him and his wife through such a hard trial
like how He took the victory in my friends anger management issues
or how He taught my friend that she is indeed beautiful
how He showed another friend that she is to go to Him, and He will satisfy
how He brought a healthy boy into the world ... 4 weeks early
how He provided money for my car
how He brought my sister to William Carey
how He gives confidence to the shyest of His children, to accomplish His will
how He answers the persisent prayers for salvation of a friend
how He carries those facing the lost of one they dearly loved
and so much more

I can not even begin to explain all that the Lord has chosen to show me, but i pray that He would only continue to give me sight, and help me find the beauty.
pray that we would turn our eyes to Him, and Him alone.
"O, Lord, you're beautiful. Your face is all I seek."
Psalm 27:4 "One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple."
let it be!